So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
