Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
false alarm. still invincible.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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