No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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