So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Mom said you looked used
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
