your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
