Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
