that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
