Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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