Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
