so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
