I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
