I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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