enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
