I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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