She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
