I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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