i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize