So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize