after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He keeps bees of course he's weird
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
