I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
