Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
