im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
