Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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