I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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