i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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