Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
