strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
