i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
My feet surprised me
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize