Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
