kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
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