he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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