a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
cat food counts as protein by the way
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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