found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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