that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
