i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
