I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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