i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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