Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
