I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
