I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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