What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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