So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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