She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
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she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
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Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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