So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
