We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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