why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
