wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize