I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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