Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
