Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What a dumb baby whore.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize