Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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