Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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