I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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