So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
