OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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