It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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