i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
