Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
