this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
